Image by Beth Mickalonis Photo, Table Settings and florals by Takk housE / Meadowlark catering

Have you planned your entire wedding day and are are now wondering:

“What do you do at the rehearsal dinner?”

The good news, there are so many fun and engaging ways to celebrate!
Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is a dinner or gathering that takes place just after your rehearsal ceremony and prior to your wedding day.

So, again, what do you do at the rehearsal dinner? You enjoy quality time with those you love! That can mean a seated dinner, cocktail style gathering, simple snacks and a movie or game night, casual cook out, a glam rock party for farmhouse guests only, ice cream social, etc. This is YOUR weekend so you can spend time with your guests in whatever way feels authentic to you!

**Fun fact, as part of your coordination services (included in your wedding package), we will run your rehearsal ceremony for you. This can help ease any nerves you may have and ensure you, your family and wedding party understand how the ceremony will run. Our plan is to limit any confusion so you feel comfortable walking into your wedding day. You are also welcome to host a rehearsal dinner and/or welcome party onsite, included in your wedding package. Just add the vendors you love to make it a truly unique event!

When it comes to planning your rehearsal dinner, there are a few things to think through:

Who do you want to spend your extended quality time with during your wedding weekend?
THE REHEARSAL DINNER - Traditionally, the attendees of the rehearsal dinner are those that are participating in your wedding ceremony, and are therefor attending the rehearsal of that ceremony. This can be family members, your wedding party, officiant, readers, performers and significant others of these individuals. At The Maples Estate, there may also be some guests staying in the farmhouse onsite that you will likely include. Most rehearsal dinners here at The Maples Estate tend to range between 20 to 30 guests. Remember, this is most often people you have chosen to include in your ceremony and likely your closest loved ones.
THE WELCOME EVENT - Sometimes our clients are looking for a larger gathering of guests where those who have traveled to attend the wedding can come say hello and spend some additional quality time together before the wedding day. This is usually what we call a “Welcome Party!” Welcome parties are a fun way to engage with your guests and enjoy additional time with them throughout your weekend. Before you plan a welcome party and invite all your guests to the event, ask yourselves, “what do we want to be doing the night before our wedding? Are you an extravert that LOVES spending time around others? Maybe you are an introvert that prefers to store up some energy to go all out on your wedding day? Keep this in mind as you are making decisions about the events you wish to host throughout the weekend, and the people you wish to spend your quality time with.
1. If the answer is extending the party and interacting with all your guests two nights in a row, plan a fun welcome party!
2. If that sounds like too much, don’t be afraid to have a simple dinner and lounge on the veranda in your PJs enjoying late night s’mores.
3. Maybe you love cooking and are excited to prepare a simple meal with your closest family and friends, sharing stories over an extended dinner table.
Determine your events and guest list based around the experience you wish to enjoy that evening!
How relaxed or formal do you want this gathering to be?
Now that you know who your guests at the rehearsal dinner and/or welcome party will be, think about how you want to engage with these individuals. Do you want a formal sit down dinner? Do you prefer a casual hang out with lounge furniture, board games or a movie projected onto the pavilion? Do you want to encourage small group or one on one conversations, group activities? Do you want to have a small dinner followed by a larger casual gathering?
Let’s go back to your guest list. Is the setting or activity you are envisioning feasible with the number of guests you have chosen to invite? Logistically and financially? If not, pair down your guest list to spend valuable quality time with those in attendance.
What level of support do you require from vendors to help you pull off your vision?
Does your vision include a sit down dinner with family style plated meals? What about a silent disco or comfortable lounge setup with vintage furniture? Maybe you want a more casual cookout with just your house guests? This vision will help you determine which vendors you will need to hire. This might include a caterer, bartender, vintage rental company, DJ, florist, etc. Do you want images of this gathering? Do you need a photographer or videographer to capture the moments? Maybe your vision doesn’t require any vendor support since you will be under 20 guests with a simple cookout utilizing the grill and farmhouse kitchen?
What food and beverage options reflect the setting you wish to create?
Your vision for the rehearsal dinner and/or welcome party may include food and beverages. If this is the case, think about the setting. Does your vision require a full service caterer for buffet, plated or family style meals? Maybe you envision a more casual setting and would prefer to hire a food truck for casual bites or a private chef for a small group meal?
Our catering blog post is a great place to start when selecting vendors. You can also check out this blog post about alcohol permits to figure out what permit or level of support you might require.
What other factors might be helpful to think through when planning the rehearsal dinner?
RSVP - Ask your guests to RSVP for this event. You won’t regret it! It will help you plan when it comes to food and beverage, the location and setting for the event. It also raises the chance that those guests will show up!
Expectations - It’s pretty common that couples see their rehearsal dinner or welcome event as a much more casual event than their wedding. If this is the case, share that with your guests. If they show up thinking there will be a formal dinner and you have a super casual pizza party or desserts only with tunes and board games, they may feel overdressed, hungry and unsure how to interact with the event. Setting expectations limits confusion and ensures guests interact with the event in the way you would like them to!
Start Time - You may think it’s helpful for your guests to have a casual “come by anytime between 6pm and 9pm” but in reality it’s a huge a pain when it comes to planning. Your guests will likely be confused as to when they should arrive and therefor many of your guests will come late. By that time, food can be cold, the first guests to arrive may feel out of place and the party may feel a bit awkward until everyone is onsite! If you set a start time you can ensure the party gets going right away with all the fun vibes!
Another factor that affects the start time is sunset! Remember, this is the first time most of your guests will be arriving to The Maples Estate. Pulling up to the venue once it’s dark can make it hard for guests to get their bearings. With such a large property, we want your guests to see the venue for the first time in daylight. This is not usually a question in June, July or August but this is definitely a factor for fall weddings when the sun is setting around 6 or 7pm. If you will host a welcome event after your rehearsal dinner, make sure your welcome event starts well before sunset.

Location - Think about your vision for the rehearsal dinner and/or welcome event and also your guest list. Is the best setting on our veranda? What about outside the pavilion on our cocktail lawn, or in the tree grove? During coordination services we will talk through the best location for each of your events based on the guest count, vendor selection and the vibes you are going for!
Remember, the farmhouse restrooms are for farmhouse guests only and your other guests will need to use the portable restrooms at the pavilion. This may affect where you chose to host your events.
Logistics - Remember to think through the little details! There is nothing worse than being distracted when you are just trying to have fun with your loved ones! There are a lot of things to think through leading up to your wedding. When you are going for a casual setting and have limited support from vendors, you may forget about things like plates, napkins, silverware, serving utensils, music, entertainment, table decor, linens, ice, beverages, an SLA permit, etc. You may think these little things don’t matter too much, but your guests will notice and it’s just one more item to think about when you are simply trying to have fun and engage with your guests. Always air on the side of hiring support if you want a seamless event without worrying about those little details. We will help you think through the plan and provide your tables, chairs and basic setup, but hiring vendors for key elements like food and beverages will ensure you are covered!

So what now? How do you move forward with planning your rehearsal dinner or welcome party?

Now that you have answered these questions, solidify your vision and start checking the boxes in bringing it to life. Check out our catering blog post to find vendors that match your unique rehearsal dinner vision! If you are a Maples Estate client, you can also view our private vendor guide for additional vendor suggestions!

Are you a full planning or coaching client? Let’s chat through your vision during one of our monthly zoom calls!

Find additional planning support in our inspiration blog and learn more about our wedding packages to host your own wedding here!

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